Find the Good Points on the Way to Yes

As school leaders, we often have those around us approach us with requests that are difficult to meet. Many times, the first instinctive response we reach for in those difficult situations brought to us by a student, parent, or colleague is: “no.” That answer is safe, easy, and doesn’t require us to extend beyond our comfort zone. I heard once that the secret to helping others is by trying to get to “yes.” That doesn’t mean that the answer will be “yes,” but the trick is to figure out what it would take to get there and be open to walking down that path. Once you open the conversation up, you must listen carefully and find the good points. In nearly every difficult conversation, even those where you strongly disagree, there is usually some good idea. Looking for good points could get you closer to “yes.” It might not be what was asked for at the start, but working to “yes” gets you further than ending with “no.”